Friendship and Intimacy-Gen 18:1-33

Genesis, Old Testament, Sermons

The theme of today’s sermon from Genesis 18 is friendship. In the Bible Abraham is known as “the friend of God” (2 Chron 20:7; Isa 41:8; James 2:23).

The last scene of “It’s a Wonderful life” is a Christmas card from the angel Clarence to George Bailey, which says, “Dear George, Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.” There is a saying about success: “There is no success without a successor.” No one can establish a successor without an intimate friendship. Friendship is surely critical and crucial to all of life. If we have even just one friend life is good. Why is friendship so foundational to life? Being created in the image of the Triune God (Gen 1:26-27), God created man to be a relational being; to be an intimate friend with God and to be intimate friends with each other (1 Jn 1:3; Ac 2:42; Jn 15:15). Derek Kidner, a renowned OT scholar, says in his commentary on Proverbs that 2 qualities of friends are candor and constancy. Candor means to be honest and transparent, while constancy refers to faithfulness. Tim Keller says, “Friends always let you in (candor), but never let you down (constancy).”

Previous passage: “Walk Before God Blamelessly” (Gen 17:1-27)Related passages: “The Wonder of Laughter” (Gen 18:9-15; 21:1-7)Why Did God Chose Abraham? (Gen 18:19) The Prayer of a True Friend (Gen 18:16-33)

What is the book of Genesis really about? A main theme of Genesis is how God fulfills his promises to Abraham unconditionally and through those promises restores the world lost in Eden. To fulfill God’s promises, God had to win Abraham as his friend. How did God do so? Gen 18:19 says, “For I have chosen him…” Here the Hebrew literally means, “I have known him personally.” Commentators say that it means almost “to make someone a friend.” In other words, God, by His grace alone, makes us his friends. This is the doctrine of election. In Gen 18:1-33, we see the candor and constancy of friendship in both God and Abraham (Gen 18:1-8, 16-33), as well as God toward Sarah (Gen 18:9-15). This passage can be divided into 3 parts:

  1. God’s friendship with Abraham (1-8).
  2. God’s friendship with Sarah (9-15).
  3. The fruit of friendship: intimacy and prayer (16-33).

I. God’s Friendship with Abraham (Gen 18:1-8)

Heb 13:1-2 makes a reference to this incident: “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Although 3 men came at an importune time in the heat of the day (Gen 18:1-2), Abraham welcomed them with a sumptuous meal with the utmost of generosity, deference and courtesy (Gen 18:3-8). Abraham gave his guests a royal welcome at an inconvenient time. Jesus said, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in” (Mt 25:35). This hospitality of Abraham was literally extended to God. His reward was contact with God himself. When Mother Theresa was asked about her sacrificial service to the poorest of the poor, she said, “I am only loving Jesus.” To Abraham his friendship with God was expressed through his warm loving service to strangers.

How is such sacrificial service to strangers possible? God showed in Genesis 15 that his relationship with Abraham is based on sovereign grace. Next, God showed in Genesis 17 that this grace is to be answered by wholehearted commitment and a willingness to submit to the Lordship of God in every area of life. Thus, this warm, charming account in Genesis 18, told in such loving detail, is a fulfillment of God’s promise to have a personal, intimate relationship with Abraham.

We learn here that friendship with God depends on faithfully doing our Christian “covenant” duties of prayer, Bible study, worship, repentance, acts of faith and service to those who are needy and hurting, etc. In this way we put God first in our lives as God expects of his covenant people (Gen 17:1). Experiences of the presence of God cannot be programmed; they must come to us. However, they won’t come to us if we stop being faithful and diligent in our basic Christian duties. If we have no time for Christian ministry and service and for the “means of grace” (Bible study, prayer, worship), then we won’t know or grow in our relationship with God. No one can create or deepen a friendship without being committed to spending time together.

II. God’s Friendship with Sarah (Gen 18:9-15)

This has been blogged previously in “The Wonder of Laughter” (Gen 18:9-15; 21:1-7) . God was kindly insisting on candor (honesty) from Sarah, because she lied to God (Gen 18:15) — to God! Yet God shows the essence of friendship: On the one hand God insisted on honesty (“I did not laugh.” “(Oh) yes, you did laugh.”). On the other hand God did not attack or reject Sarah for her dishonesty. God was convicting her gently. God was calling her to wonder at his grace (Gen 18:14). God wanted her to allow Him to fill her life with wonder. This is the mixture of firmness (truth) and yet loving assurance (grace) that is the essence of parenting and spiritual shepherding in general. Thus, God shows both candor and constancy. What about with Abraham?

III. The Fruit of Friendship: Intimacy and Prayer (Gen 18:16-33)

God also provides candor with Abraham when God remarkably begins to “think out loud” about Sodom in a way that invites Abraham “in” to God’s inmost thoughts (Gen 18:20-21). God says in the form of a rhetorical question, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?” (Gen 18:17). The obvious answer is: “No. I will not hide from Abraham. We are friends.” Similarly, Jesus said to his disciples at the Last Supper, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (Jn 15:15).

God’s gracious initiative indeed welcomed Abraham not as a “Yes man” but as a faithful and honest probing friend. The result is one of the most breathtaking examples of candor between friends as seen in Abraham’s boldness in seeking to dissuade God from judging Sodom (Gen 18:22-33). Even Abraham is amazed at his own candor and honesty (Gen 18:31), for Abraham’s “boldness,” “familiarity,” and direct talk is the mark of friends.

(Gen 18:19 is explained separately: Why Did God Chose Abraham? )

What 7 things can we learn from Gen 18:16-33 about the prayer of a friend of God (also known as intercessory prayer)?

  1. Abraham’s prayer is initiated by God.
  2. Abraham’s prayer is persistent and specific.
  3. Abraham’s prayer is bold.
  4. Abraham’s prayer is humble.
  5. Abraham’s prayer is theological.
  6. Abraham’s prayer is for the city.
  7. Abraham’s prayer is not answered in an all or nothing way.

Only Jesus fulfills Abraham’s prayer: Abraham prayed for people (Sodom) who might have killed him if they lived, but Jesus prayed for people who would and did kill him (Lk 23:34 ). Abraham risked his life to save the wicked city, but Jesus gave his life to save people (Mk 10:45; Heb 7:25-26 ). Jesus is the one truly righteous one whose righteousness saves us (2 Cor 5:21 ).

Only Jesus and the Gospel enables us to pray like Abraham: No one can pray better simply by trying harder. They can by believing and rejoicing in the one to whom Abraham is pointing.

It impossible to be as aggressive and humble in prayer as Abraham was. Outside of the gospel, we may feel like “dust and ashes” and that we don’t deserve to go to God. Or we may feel that we are good enough to go to God, but we would never have Abraham’s humility and passion for lost people.

Only if we know that in Christ we are both simultaneously lost sinners and yet legally righteous and accepted (simul justus et peccator), will we have the dynamite in the heart that will lead us to pray like Abraham and care for our city as he did.

Questions

  1. What can we learn from Abraham’s hospitality (Gen 18:1-8; Heb 13:1-2; Mt 25:35)? How might we have intimacy with God (Gen 17:1)?
  2. How was the Lord gentle, yet firm with Sarah (Gen 18:9-15)? Why is candor important in friendships and relationships (Eph 4:15; Prov 27:6,9)?
  3. How did the Lord draw Abraham in to know God’s heart (Gen 18:17)? Why (2 Chron 20:7 ; Isa 41:8 ; James 2:23 ; Jn 15:15; Prov 18:24)? Why did God call/choose Abraham (Gen 18:19; Jn 15:16)? How does grace and law work together (Gen 18:19; Eph 2:8-10)?
  4. What can we learn about prayer from a true friend of God (Gen 18:17-33; 1 Th 5:17; Lk 18:1; Rom 8:31; Rom 5:15 ,17-19 )?

Ref: “The Friend of God” (Gen 18:1-33); What were we put in the world to do? Study Notes (136-144). Tim Keller. “Promise and Intercession” (Gen 18:1-33). Sermon by Ligon Duncan.

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