Sex in Marriage-1 Cor 7:1-7

1 Corinthians, New Testament, Sermons

Being attracted to an attractive person is not a sin in and of itself. Talking about sex as a Christian is uncomfortable, likely because of the proliferation and easy accessibility of pornography and the widespread acceptance of casual sex, serial monogamy, cohabitation, one night stands, many sex partners, etc. Seeing couples having sex in movies and TV is common and it’s rarely between those who are married. Few people in society would think that there’s anything wrong with all expressions of sex as long as it’s between “consenting adults.” So perhaps in retaliation Christians have inadvertently reacted to communicate that sex is dirty and sinful and horrible…and then once you get married sex is no longer dirty and sinful and horrible. Such unfortunate communication is schizophrenic–even if it’s well intentioned to protect the virgin; it has caused single Christians to be guilt ridden just for feeling attracted to an attractive person. Paul’s marital advice in 1 Corinthians 7 is godly, trustworthy (1 Cor 7:25) and spiritual (1 Cor 7:40). He begins by addressing sex within the context of marriage.

Fulfill your marital obligation (7:1-7). It seems that Paul’s advice is totally unnecessary today–even funny–Duh. But Paul was combating those who were promoting aceticism and celibacy as being holier and more spiritual than those who were having sexual relations, even among those who were married.

 

 

  1. Why might the Corinthian Christians think that a husband should not “touch” [have sex with] his wife (1 Cor 7:1, 34; Lk 20:34-35, 36)? Does Paul agree (1 Cor 7:2b-3)? What could happen if couples avoid sex in marriage (1 Cor 7:2a; 6:15)? What does Paul understand about the power of the human sex drive? [Is marital intercourse only for procreation?]
  2. What does Paul tell married couples to continue doing? Why (1 Cor 7:4, 2a; 6:15)? What does this teach about the marriage relationship (Eph 5:21)? How does this challenge traditional views of hierarchy (Gal 3:28)?
  3. What is Paul’s one concession, and for what reason (1 Cor 7:5-6, 2a)? Is Paul grudgingly and reluctantly permitting and conceding to marriage to curb lust and illicit sexual desire?
  4. What is Paul’s wish and his own gift [charisma], that is different from that of others (1 Cor 7:7)? [Is singleness and celibacy a gift? Is marriage a gift? Is marriage less holy or less spiritual than being single and celibate?]

Marriage Related Matters (7:1-40) “Let each remain in his/her situation when God called them” dominates each part. Outline:

  1. To the Married and Formerly Married–Stay as You Are (1-16) [Counsel for Corinthians in various marital statuses]
  2. To the married: stay married, maintain sexual relations (1–7). No abstinence within marriage.
  3. To widowers and widows: it’s good to remain unmarried (8–9).
  4. To Christian married couples: remain married, no divorce (10–11).
  5. To those with an unbelieving spouse: remain married, no divorce (12-16).
  6. Guiding Principle/General Rule: Remain as you were/Stay as One Was When Called (17–24) [1 Cor 7:24]
  7. Analogy of circumcision/uncircumcision (18–19, 20).
  8. Analogy of slavery/freedom (21–23, 24).
  9. Counsel for engaged couples (25–38). To “virgins“: it is good to remain unmarried.
  10. In view of the present necessity, stay as you are (25–28). Singleness is preferrable but not required.
  11. Reasons to Remain Single (29–35).
  12. The form of this world is passing away (29–31). Eschatalogical reason to remain single.
  13. Freedom to serve the Lord without distraction (32–35). An urgent imperative for singles.
  14. Freedom to marry or not, as they choose (36–38). Marriage is no sin (36-40).
  15. Reprise: Counsel for wives and widows (39–40).
  16. Woman bound to husband, but may remarry if he dies (39).
  17. More blessed to remain unmarried (40). When widowed it is good to remain that way.

Paul consistently urges them to remain in whatever condition they find themselves:

  • Those who are married should remain married and continue to fulfill all their marital obligations.
  • Those who are unmarried are encouraged to remain in that state.
  • The flexibility and openness of Paul’s counsel. He holds open a space for them—particularly those who aren’t already married—to exercise their own discernment about how best to serve God, whether in the married or the unmarried state.

Responses to Contested Issues in Corinth [1 Cor 7:1–15:58]

A major structural transition from ch. 7–Paul addresses issues raised by them in a letter to him: “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote…” (1 Cor 7:la). Their letter was delivered to Paul in Ephesus by 3 representatives of the church: Stephanus, Fortunatus, and Achaicus (1 Cor 16:8, 17). Some of the content of their  letter may be inferred from Paul’s responses. Each time Paul states “now concerning x,” he’s likely introducing a topic about which they’ve asked him a question:

  • sex, marriage, and divorce (1 Cor 7:1)
  • virgins (1 Cor 7:25)
  • idol meat (1 Cor 8:1)
  • spiritual gifts (1 Cor 12:1)
  • the collection for the saints (1 Cor 16:1)
  • Apollos’s travel plans (1 Cor 16:12)

Paul is responding to their written concerns: ch. 7 (sex); chs. 8–10 (idol meat). Ch. 11 introduces matters not posed directly by them (1 Cor 11:18–what he’s heard about them from other sources). When “now concerning” reappears (12:1), he’s perhaps returning (after some digression in ch. 11) to address their questions again. Chs. 12–14 (spiritual gifts) constitute an answer to some points in their letter. The resurrection of the dead (ch. 15) suggests that he’s again reacting to reports about them rather than to direct queries from them. The two passages in ch. 16 are so cursory that it’s hard to tell whether Paul is responding to issues raised by them, or whether he is summarily finishing up the list of matters that he himself wants to mention.It’s striking that Paul takes up their concerns only after writing the lengthy discussion of chs. 1–6, in which he:

  1. calls for unity,
  2. reasserts his authority,
  3. forcefully scolds the community, and
  4. calls them to new standards of holiness and community discipline.

Paul doesn’t allow their concerns to set the agenda. He addresses their questions only after carefully rebuilding the foundation upon which he believes answers must be based. This allows him to reframe the issues:

  • He calls repeatedly for their community to be shaped by the gospel of the cross, and
  • illuminated by the eschatological setting of the church between the cross and the final day of the Lord.

Thus, it’s not necessarily wise to begin “where the people are.” Doing so may make it impossible to move to any other place. Questions must be answered—as Paul did—but only after the groundwork of the gospel has first been laid out clearly.Sex and Marriage (7:1-40). Sex and marriage in ch. 7 has been widely misunderstood in the history of the church, with tragic consequences. Therefore, working with this text requires clearing away many misconceptions, such as:

  • The widespread view that Paul despised women.
  • Paul regarded sex as dirty or defiling.

This is a grossly inaccurate caricature–even the opposite–of Paul’s teaching. With careful reading, note 5 crucial findings:

  1. Paul’s not writing a general treatise on marriage, but responding to issues and questions posed in their letter to him.
  2. The slogan “It is well for a man not to touch a woman” comes not from Paul himself but from them.
  3. There’s no trace in this passage of contempt for women or of the idea that sexual intercourse within marriage is sinful.
  4. Paul’s teachings demonstrate a remarkable vision of mutuality between man and woman in the marriage relationship.
  5. Paul’s advice on the topic of sex and marriage is strongly conditioned by his belief that the day of the Lord is coming very soon.

Hearing only one side of the conversation we have to guess what they were saying and doing. Without that (for eg., who were the “virgins”?), Paul’s comments are difficult to interpret. Nonetheless, the general direction of his advice is clear.1. Counsel for Corinthians in Various Marital Statuses (1-16). To the Married and Formerly Married–Stay as You Are The first issue from their letter: May Christians continue to consummate marriages, or is it more appropriate for people who have received the Holy Spirit to live celibate lives? Paul frequently adopts an interactive style of argumentation (as in ch. 6), where he quotes a slogan expressing their point of view and then rebuts or qualifies it (1 Cor 6:12–14, 18). “Now concerning the things about which you wrote: ‘It is well for a man not to touch a woman’” (1 Cor 7:1). The quote is probably a direct citation from their letter, or a pithy summary of one of its main points. Paul doesn’t entirely reject this slogan, but he strongly qualifies its implications in the following verses. [Similar patterns of a quote followed by Paul’s rebuttal (1 Cor 8:1; 10:23).] Paul does think that a life of singleness or celibacy is a good thing (1 Cor 7:8–9, 27, 32–35, 40). Nonetheless, he strongly disagrees with some inferences that they’ve drawn from this position.For the married: maintain sexual relations (7:1–7). The key to understanding this opening section is in the first 2 verses. In their slogan, the expression, “to touch a woman” (7:1) is a common euphemism meaning “to have sexual intercourse with a woman.” [It’s never used to mean “to marry,” as the old 1984 NIV misleadingly translates it. Also, “Let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband” (7:2, 1984 NIV) doesn’t mean that those who are unmarried should find spouses; that in fact is the exact opposite of the advice that Paul gives to the unmarried (1 Cor 7:8, 27, 38)! Instead, the verb “to have” in this context means—just as it can also in English—to enjoy sexual possession of another person. It’s the same Greek verb used in 5:1: literally, “for a man to have his father’s wife.”] What, then, does verse 2 mean? The text makes sense only when we recognize that Paul is speaking here not to the unmarried, but to the already married. He’s telling married couples that they ought to continue to have sexual relations with one another. This is decisively confirmed in 7:3–4: Paul reiterates this point unmistakably, insisting that each partner possesses the body of the other. The logic, then, is as follows. It is all very well in principle to abstain from sexual intercourse, as they’ve suggested, but Paul insists that married couples shouldn’t try to renounce their sex life, because of the danger that one partner might be tempted outside the marriage into fornication (1 Cor 7:2).To the modern reader, is this advice really necessary? Do married couples need to be told to keep having sexual intercourse? Do they need to write Paul a letter to clarify this? The answer to these questions, in fact, is yes. Some of the Corinthians may very well have concluded that sexuality was part of a “fleshly” unspiritual existence and that persons in Christ ought to renounce such base physical pleasures in order to “be holy in body and spirit” (1 Cor 7:34).Such asceticism was “in the air” in ancient Mediterranean culture. The Stoic and Cynic philosophical schools significantly influenced them—debating whether a philosopher should marry or whether the unmarried state was more conducive to the pursuit of wisdom. In Greek popular religion, virginity and sexual purity were often associated with those set aside for the service of the gods, particularly for women who were prophets—the priestess of the oracle at Delphi, for example. Even Judaism, which classically had celebrated procreation as the duty of everyone, developed ascetic movements such as the Essenes and the Therapeutae about whom Philo of Alexandria wrote glowingly. Difficult as it may be for many at the end of the 21st century to appreciate, sexual abstinence was widely viewed as a means to personal wholeness and religious power.Ascetic impulses within early Christianity. How were they to interpret the baptismal proclamation, which they would’ve learned from Paul, that in Christ “there is no longer male and female” (Gal 3:28)? If tradition about the teaching of Jesus were circulating in their church, would they have heard that Jesus had said, “Those who belong to this age marry and are given in marriage; but those who are considered worthy of a place in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage … they are like angels” (Lk 20:34–35, 36)? And what conclusion were they to draw from the fact that Paul himself—their founding apostle—had been conspicuously unmarried (1 Cor 7:8; 9:5)? Remember that they had no past Christian tradition to look to for guidelines about how to interpret such things; they were inventing the Christian life as they went, trying to work out the implications of the gospel for refashioning their lives.Radical forms of asceticism was practiced according to early Christian writings. In Col 2:20–23 Paul opposed false teachers who say “Do not handle [the same verb translated as touch in 1 Cor 7:1], do not taste, do not touch.” Such rules, he insists, “have indeed an appearance of wisdom (sophia) in promoting self-imposed piety, humility, and severe treatment of the body, but they are of no value in checking self-indulgence.” Similarly, 1 Tim 4:3 polemicizes against those who “forbid marriage and demand abstinence from foods.” By associating holiness and wisdom with celibacy, some of them decided that ordinary married life was incompatible with their new spiritual identity in Christ. Some decided that celibacy was necessary; even some who were married attempted to renounce sex. Sexual abstinence might have been especially appealing to some of the women in the community, who were functioning as prophets in the church and finding a new sphere of power and freedom outside the traditional restraints of domestic life. Abstinence from sexual intercourse also would give women freedom from pregnancy and child–rearing. Their slogan (“It is well for a man not to touch a woman”) also suggests that it was the men who were urging the renunciation of sexual relations. Asceticism likely found a sympathetic hearing among some members of both sexes in the church.Deprived of sexual companionship. Some found their spouses withdrawing sexually or separating from the marriage (1 Cor 7:10–11) in the interests of holiness. This may be why some were going to prostitutes (1 Cor 6:15–16).1 Cor 7:1–7 comes with clarity and force: Married couples must not declare abstension from sex! “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Cor 7:3). Why? “…because of cases of sexual immorality” (1 Cor 7:2). The spouse who “deprives” his or her partner of sexual intimacy may allow Satan to tempt the partner into porneia because of the difficulty of self-control (1 Cor 7:5). To Paul porneia is most damaging to the community of faith as a whole.Another reason more profoundly related to the character of marriage itself: “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does” (1 Cor 7:4a). This was a commonplace view in the ancient world. Paul’s next sentence, however, must have struck many first-century hearers as extraordinary: “likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does” (1 Cor 7b). Here Paul challenges views of marriage–both ancient and modern alike:

  • Marriage partners are not placed in a hierarchical relation with one over the other,
  • nor set apart as autonomous units each doing what he or she pleases. Rather…

The marriage relationship is one of mutual submission, each partner having authority over the other (Eph 5:21). Paul doesn’t develop the wider implications of this remarkable idea. His immediate concern is focused on their problem: in marriage, he insists, there is to be no unilateral withdrawal—nor even a mutually negotiated withdrawal!—from regular sexual intercourse. Temporary short-term abstinence is permissible if undertaken “by agreement” (Greek: “with a common voice”—the root of the English word “symphony”) of husband and wife together. This is Paul’s one concession to their desire to seek special spiritual disciplines (1 Cor 7:5). The purpose is to allow them to devote themselves to prayer, but Paul insists that they come together again after the fixed time to avoid the danger of temptation. This allowance for temporary abstinence is the “concession” (1 Cor 7:6), though he makes it clear that he’s not commanding such a practice.How disastrously misinterpreted this text has been by much of the Christian tradition: Paul grudgingly permits marriage as a distasteful concession to lust. But it’s they seeking to renounce marriage and sex, and Paul who insists realistically that sex within marriage are normal and necessary.Paul is unmarried and—by his own account—in control of his own sexual impulses, so that he doesn’t need the physical satisfaction of marriage. Though he wants everyone to be “as I myself am,” he recognizes that different people have different gifts and that not everyone is called by God to celibacy (1 Cor 7:7). This implies that marriage itself is also a gift (charisma) from God, though Paul doesn’t say so explicitly.Let’s clarify the meaning by constructing a paraphrase, filling in some of the silent assumptions and gaps in the conversation. Explanatory expansions are not in bold to show how Paul’s advice seeks to address the particular issues raised by them.

  1. Now I will respond to the matters about which you wrote. You propose that, for the sake of holiness and purity, married couples should abstain from sexual intercourse. As you say, “It is a fine thing for a man not to touch a woman.”
  2. But—since that is unrealistic—let each husband have sexual intercourse with his own wife, and let each wife have sexual intercourse with her own husband.
  3. Marriage creates a mutual obligation for a couple to satisfy one another’s needs; therefore, let the husband give the wife what he owes her, and likewise let the wife give what she owes to her husband.
  4. For the wife does not rule her own body; the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not rule his own body; the wife does. 
  5. Do not deprive one another, unless you decide—in harmony with one another—to abstain from intercourse for a time so that both of you can devote yourselves to prayer. But (when the time is up) come together again, so that Satan will not be able to tempt you.
  6. I am not commanding this practice of temporary abstinence; rather, I am saying this as a concession to your proposal [1 Cor 7:1].
  7. I wish that everyone could be in control of sexual desire like me. Obviously, that’s not the case. But each person has his or her own gift (charisma) from God: if not celibacy, then something else, one in one way and another in some other way.

Read in this way, emphases Paul’s pastoral advice more clearly.How is this account of the situation related to the problems addressed in ch. 5 and 6, where their problem seems to be an excess of sexual free expression rather than a withdrawal into asceticism? Two mutually reinforcing answers may be given.

  1. They’re divided into factions (1:10–17; 3:1–4). If the debate over abstention from certain foods was a cause of division in the community [ch 8–10], then differences over sexual practices might also have caused division, though Paul doesn’t say so in 1 Cor 7. This might explain why they raised this issue prominently in their letter. In ch. 5–7, Paul is then addressing different factions sequentially:
    1. those who believe themselves free to do whatever they want with their bodies (1 Cor 6:12, 15),
    2. then those who believe that their bodies should be kept from all sexual contact (1 Cor 7:1).
  2. In response to both groups, Paul offers a single consistent position:
      1. celibacy is good (1 Cor 7:7),
      2. sex within marriage is good (7:2-6), and
      3. porneia is a disaster for the community (1 Cor 6:18).
  3. By affirming the rightness and necessity of sexual love in marriage—and only there—Paul rejects the extreme positions on both sides.
  4. The hyperspirituality of human nature often leads, paradoxically, to a backlash of fleshly indulgence. This sad truth is seen when a TV evangelist or church leader’s sexual misadventures is discovered—happening too frequently to make us grieve deeply. In 7:1–7 Paul acknowledges this sober reality. There’s an inner spiritual connection between these apparently antithetical claims and behaviors. Saying “I am free to do anything” and/or “I must abstain from everything” are equally setting themselves outside their God-given creaturely limitations. The attempt to escape our finitude—whether one way or the other—is bound to fail and send us crashing down. That’s why Paul gives simple earthy counsel: husbands and wives should cling together and fulfill one another’s needs.

Some REFLECTIONS for the church today where issues of sex, marriage, and divorce top the list of controversial problems.   Mutual submission in marriage. Paul’s paradigm-shattering vision of marriage is a relationship of mutual submission to one another, each committed to meet the other’s needs (1 Cor 7:3-4; Eph 5:21). This challenges the prevalent patriachal picture of the husband as master of the wife. It also challenges the prevalent picture of the sexual autonomy of each individual. Reflecting seriously on the implications of Paul’s model for marriage requires reevaluation of many of our assumptions and habits. Today, as in 1st-century Corinth, the church unthinkingly absorbs many assumptions about sex and marriage from our culture—disseminated through TV, movies, magazines, self-help books. Grapple seriously with Paul’s alternative vision to identify the false images of sex and marriage that surround us.   The purpose of sexual intercourse in marriage. A strange development in the history of Christian doctrine is the Roman Catholic Church’s espousal of the nonbiblical idea that the purpose of marital intercourse is primarily for procreation. Nothing could be further from Paul’s view. He never mentions procreation, but argues strongly that partners in marriage satisfy one another’s desires. Take very seriously the reality and power of the sexual drive—and the danger of sin and self-deception. Paul says nothing about love and companionship, bearing and raising children; he was responding to their specific question. A good purpose of marriage is to provide sexual satisfaction for husband and wife together.

Reference:

  1. Richard B. Hays. First Corinthians. Interpretation. A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching. 1997.
  2. Gordon D. Fee. First Corinthians. The New International Commentary on the NT. 1987.
  3. Richard B. Hays. The Moral Vision of the N.T. A Contemporary Introduction to N.T. Ethics. 1996.

Sermon Divisions:

  1. 7/12/20: Always Thank God (1:1-9) [1 Cor 1:4].  Cosmic Epic Calling [1 Cor 1:2].
  2. 7/19/20: The Devil Divides, God Unites (1:10-17) [1 Cor 1:10]. All Agree. No Divisions. Perfect Unity.
  3. 7/26/20: The Cross—God‘s Way—is Dumb (1:18-25) [1 Cor 1:18]. The Cross Stumbles. The Cross is like a Cop Out. Foolish Cross.
  4. 8/2/20: What You Were, Who Christ Is (1:26-31) [1 Cor 1:26, 30]. The Necessity of Lack. No Boasting  [1 Cor 1:31].
  5. 8/9/20: Nothing but Jesus (2:1-5) [1 Cor 2:2].
  6. 8/16/20: Wise vs. Stupid (2:6-16) [1 Cor 2:6]. True Wisdom is Only for the Mature. The Mind of Christ [1 Cor 2:16].
  7. 8/23/20: You‘re NOT Spiritual (3:1-4) [1 Cor 3:1].  Spiritual, Yet Not Spiritual.
  8. 8/30/20: Merely Servants (3:5-9) [1 Cor 3:5]. Field Laborers.
  9. 9/6/20: Build with Care or Be Destroyed (3:10-15, 16-17) [1 Cor 3:10-11]. God’s Temple.
  10. 9/13/20: Deceived by Wisdom (3:18-23). All Belongs to Christ and God. Wisdom doesn’t boast.
  11. 9/20/20: When You Are Judged (4:1-5) [1 Cor 4:4]. Go Ahead…Judge Me!  Judged Only by God; Accountable Only to God.  Judging Others Blinds You.
  12. 9/27/20: When You Are Scum (4:6-13) [1 Cor 4:13]. Become Scum. Puffed up Corinthians and Suffering Apostle amid Others’ Boasting.
  13. 10/4/20: Imitate Me (4:14-21) [1 Cor 4:19]. Fatherly Admonition. Final Warning to Boasters. Fatherly Admonition to Paul’s Corinthian Children.
  14. 10/11/20: Expel the Wicked Man (5:1-13) [1 Cor 5:13]. Drive out the wicked person from among you.
  15. 10/18/20: You Were Washed in the Name (6:1-11) [1 Cor 6:11]. You will Judge the World [1 Cor 6:2]. I Say this to shame you [1 Cor 6:5].
  16. 10/25/20: Your Body is for God (6:12-20) [1 Cor 6:13]. Glorify God with Your Body.
  17. 11/1/20; 11/8/20; 11/15/20: Women, Wives, Wise West Loop Elders.
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