Tough Love, Punishment and Forgiveness-2 Cor 2:1-13

Can you punish and forgive at the same time? When you punish, do you forgive the evil offender with a soft tender heart? When you forgive someone you like and love, do you forgo or ignore punishment to help them repent?   Tough love includes punishment and forgiveness. The ultimate expression of love is Christ laying down his life for us (1 Jn 3:16; Jn 3:16; 10:11). We think of Jesus’ crucifixion and death as forgiveness–and that is true. But perhaps we may forget or bypass the fact that on the cross Jesus experienced the full consequences of our sin (2 Cor 5:21): suffering, punishment, excruciating agony, abandonment and death. Paul had to deal with an offence [sin] in the Corinthian church that could have weakened/destroyed the church. It shows us that his call for punishment and forgiveness for the repentant calls for both gritty toughness and a tender vulnerable love.

How would you like to be in a no–win situation (2:1-4)? “So I made up my mind that I would not make another painful visit to you” (2 Cor 2:1). Paul intended to visit them after passing through Macedonia (1 Cor 16:5-7), but changed his plans to visit them first on his way to Macedonia, and again on his way back, so that they ‘benefit twice’ (2 Cor 1:15-16). The first visit was painful for both them and he, so he didn’t make the return visit, but wrote the ‘severe letter.’ It was a ‘no-win’ situation.

• If he made another visit, it’d be painful.
• If he didn’t, his critics “win.”
• And by writing the ‘severe letter,’ he was criticized for being bold when absent, but timid when present (2 Cor 10:1, 10).

Firm and loving (2 Cor 2:4). Paul wrote the ‘severe letter‘ after defending his change of travel plans (1:15-24) to help them discipline and forgive the offender (2:1-13). For Stan wins if the offender is overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So he urged them to reaffirm their love for the repentant offender. For their sake he minimized the wrong he suffered from the offender to show his full support in reinstating the one who hurt him.

Demand for discipline causes grief. “For if I grieve you [plural], who is left to make me glad but you [singular, ‘the one’] whom I have grieved?” (2 Cor 2:2). Who’d make Paul glad if he made the 2nd promised visit and caused them further grief? The grief is caused by the disciplinary action Paul demanded of the congregation (2 Cor 2:5-8). Paul’s demand for disciplinary action–something they didn’t do, even when Paul was grieved (2 Cor 2:3)–caused grief to the offender and the church. There’s no joy in their relationship until the offender is disciplined, brought to repentance and restored to fellowship.

“I wrote as I did” (2 Cor 2:3a) is the ‘severe letter’ Paul wrote after his return from the ‘painful visit.’ He rebuked them for not defending him when he was attacked by the one who caused him grief (2 Cor 2:5). He demanded his punishment and expected their obedience (2 Cor 2:6, 9), “so that when I came I would not be distressed by those who should have made me rejoice” (2 Cor 2:3b) [remove the friction existing between them and him]. During the ‘painful visit,’ Paul was anguished by the offending individual, while they, who should’ve made him rejoice, did nothing. The ‘severe letter’ was to ensure that this won’t happen again. “I had confidence in all of you, that you would all share my joy” (2 Cor 2:3c). The ‘severe letter’ caused grief, but Paul was confident that they’d want to see Paul joyful again. Paul tackled the thorny problem of punishing the one who caused grief, confident of their goodwill towards him despite the difficulties in their relationship.

With “distress and anguish of heart” (2 Cor 2:4a) is how Paul wrote the ‘severe letter’ (2 Cor 2:3), either because of persecution in Asia (2 Cor 1:8-9) or the painful situation in Corinth. Tears ‘in a brave and courageous man are a sign of great distress.’ [Calvin] Paul projected into the past what he felt now about them, having received good news from Titus about their response to the ‘severe letter.’ Despite the current distress Paul felt, he continues to have confidence in their basic goodwill based on his assurance of the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

Real love. “Not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you” (2 Cor 2:4b). In the ‘severe letter’ Paul rebuked them for their failure to support him, hoping to move them to repentance (2 Cor 2:3)–not to grieve them, but to let them know the depth of his love for them. How? Not by glossing over a bad situation, but by confronting and demanding that they take action. Only real love confronts a difficult situation cf. side-stepping it. Rebuke without feeling deep love merely tramples others.

Forgive the offender (2:5-11). “If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent – not to put it too severely” (2 Cor 2:5). The offender grieved Paul, but he minimized his grief by drawing attention to the fact that he himself had grieved them as well (2 Cor 2:10). If he alone experienced grief, he’d simply suffer the wrong (1 Cor 6:7). But it was the church as a whole, as well as Paul, that was affected, and so the matter had to be dealt with. “The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient” (2 Cor 2:6). Punishment (epitimia) in extra-biblical writings are legal penalties or commercial sanctions. The church acted formally/judicially against the offender, possibly excluding him from their gatherings. The majority (pleionon) might be that a minority didn’t approve of the punishment, or that it was a unanimous decision by the whole church (minus the offender). To Paul it was enough. Church discipline is for punishment and to be remedial. “Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him” (2 Cor 2:7a). The punishment of the offender was deserved. Yet it brought Paul no joy (2 Cor 2:2); it was restoration he sought. If the church didn’t forgive and comfort him, there’s the danger that he may be “overwhelmed by excessive sorrow” (2 Cor 2:7b). [‘overwhelm’ (katapino): animals who ‘devour’ their prey; waves or waters which ‘swallow up’ objects and people.] Paul fears that the offender, if not forgiven/comforted, may ‘drown’ in his sorrow, so, “I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Cor 2:8). Reaffirm (kyrosai) is confirmation of a sale or ratification of a covenant (Gal 3:15). The re-affirmation of love is a formal act by the church, just as the punishment was formal and judicial. “Another reason I wrote to you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything” (2 Cor 2:9). Obedience was not to him personally, but to him as an apostle/ambassador of Christ. It’s not to ‘lord it over’ their faith, for he was working for their joy (2 Cor 1:24). “Anyone you forgive, I also forgive” (2 Cor 2:10a). Calling them to forgive (2 Cor 2:6-7), Paul also forgives to allay their fears that he’d not approve the forgiveness/reinstatement of one who hurt him badly. “And what I have forgiven – if there was anything to forgive -I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake (2 Cor 2:10b).

1. Downplay his hurt: if there was anything to forgive, which clearly he had (2 Cor 2:5-11; 7:8-13).
2. Forgive the offence for their sake of reconciliation, restoration and well-being in the church. His own forgiveness to help them feel free to forgive and effect reconciliation with the offender.
3. “…in the sight of Christ” (lit. ‘in [the] face of Christ‘). An oath formula: ‘As I stand in the sight of Christ, I have forgiven the offence.’ Or his forgiveness has the approval of Christ: ‘What I have forgiven has been forgiven in the sight of Christ who looks down with approval.’ Or that Paul had yet to express his forgiveness face to face with the offender, but had already forgiven the offence ‘in the sight of Christ.’

“…in order that Satan might not outwit us [lit. ‘that we be not taken advantage of by Satan’] (2 Cor 2:11a)–by keeping the church weak if there’s no forgiveness/reconciliation. [Gk pleonekteo (‘to take advantage of’) 4x – all by Paul (2 Cor 7:2; 12:17, 18; 1 Th 4:6) is to take advantage of people by defrauding them of something which belongs to them.] So Satan might take advantage of the situation and defraud the church of one of its members permanently. “For we are not unaware of his schemes” (2 Cor 2:11b), and urges them to reaffirm their love for the offender to prevent this possibility, for Satan actively undermines the faith, devotion and good order of the church (2 Cor 11:3, 14-15).

Waiting for Titus (2 Cor 2:12-13). Paul had no peace of mind in Troas, despite great opportunities to preach the gospel, because he didn’t meet Titus as expected and didn’t receive news of their situation which he longed to hear. He said this to emphasize again the love he had for them. “Now when I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ and found that the Lord had opened a door for me…” (2 Cor 2:12). Paul visited Troas on his 2nd missionary journey, and had the vision of a ‘man of Macedonia’ begging him to come over and help them (Ac 16:8-10). Likely some disciples were made at Troas, and he went there again to preach the gospel, and to meet Titus. Paul used the metaphor of the open door to describe the opportunity he had for ‘effective work’ in Ephesus (1 Cor 16:9), where a church was founded, and the gospel was taken to other cities in the region (Colossae, Laodicea, and other cities of the 7 churches of Asia (Rev 2-3; Ac 19:10).

“I still had no peace of mind, because I did not find my brother Titus there” (2 Cor 2:13a). Titus is mentioned for the 1st time. Paul took him to Jerusalem, and who, ‘even though he was a Greek,’ was not compelled to be circumcised (Gal 2:1-3). Apart from this, we know nothing of Titus [likely not Titius Justus (Ac 18:7)]. Titus played a crucial role in relations between Paul and the church at Corinth. 1 Pastoral Letter is addressed to Titus in Crete and responsible for setting up elders in the churches (Tit 1:5). Not finding Titus, “I said goodbye to them and went on to Macedonia” (2 Cor 2:13b). Leaving the infant church and a door God had opened shows his concern for them: ‘Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches’ (2 Cor 11:28). Paul was relieved when he finally met Titus in Macedonia (7:5-16). In Troas Paul was deeply concerned whether Titus was well received in Corinth, and whether they responded positively to the demands of the ‘severe letter.’ Before that there is a long digression (2:14 – 7:4) where Paul speaks about the nature of his ministry and how he was used by God even during distressing times.

2:1-13 is replete with important pastoral examples.

1. Tough love for his converts. Paul was driven by avoiding causing them pain / grief (2 Cor 2:1-2) and his love for them (2 Cor 2:4). With ‘tough love‘ he wrote a strongly worded letter at the risk of causing them grief in order to deal with their failure to address a serious wrong that was perpetrated by one of their members (2 Cor 7:8-12).
2. Punishment is punitive and remedial. It’s necessary for the well-being of the offender and the church. Punishment is for the repentance of the offender. After repentance, forgive to comfort him and reaffirm their love for him (2 Cor 2:6-8). Paul assured them that anyone they forgave he also forgave, even though he himself was the one hurt by the offender (2 Cor 2:10).
3. Moral failure allows Satan to cause more harm (2 Cor 2:10-11): church loses 1 member – if overwhelmed by excessive sorrow and not comforted and reinstated following his repentance.
4. Sharing emotions with his converts–his pain and love for them (2 Cor 2:4), how his concern for them led him to abandon the opportunity for fruitful work in Troas so that he might obtain news of them sooner. Professionalism is NOT enough. It must be motivated by love for those to whom we minister (1 Cor 13:1-3).

Reference:

1. 1. Charles Hodge. 1 & 2 Corinthians. A Geneva Series Commentary. The Banner of Truth Trust. 1857, 1859.
   2. Colin Kruse. 2 Corinthians. Tyndale NT Commentaries. 1987, 2005.
   3. Geoffrey Grogan. 2 Corinthians. The Glories & Responsibilities of Christian Service. 2007.
   4. David Garland. 2 Corinthians. The New American Commentary. 1999.
   5. Paul Barnett. The Message of 2 Corinthians. 1988.